Doubt

Good morning friends, and welcome new followers! Thank you so much to Star Wuerdemann for mentioning us in her excellent post about building a literary community on Jane Friedman’s blog. Such a helpful post. I know I spent many long years with no literary community at all, awkwardly wishing some random person who wasn’t a creep would just magically approach me, say “Hey, are you a writer?” and take me in somehow.

Not that I would’ve had any idea what to say if someone had done that.

I’m lucky enough to have a handful of writer friends now, and it’s indeed helpful and supportive and great. In fact, I was meeting up with some writers not that long ago, when a person I desperately wanted to impress and only accidentally bumped shoulders with asked me the scariest possible question: “What are you working on lately?”

It’s kind to ask. I realize this, even as all the words fly out of my head and I offer the gravel left behind. Is it hot in here? I gave her a fine answer, not a great one… but I really wish I’d had a great one.

Whatever I’m working on, I always want to be able to talk about it. Not because I think I need to sell myself, but because I want to be myself. It’s important to me, and I want to be authentic and offer something real when someone is generous enough to ask me an authentic, real question.

In the spirit of realness, I’ve compiled a list of my personal cop-outs, or, as I’ve titled it:

Ways I Shouldn’t Talk About My Work-In-Progress Anymore:

1. Too Serious - Ugh, I really cringe for the times I threw around buzz words like “trauma” and “storytelling” and “womanhood.” My book is about those very things, but narrowing it down to them is also just me trying to sound smart, and my book sound important. It rarely leads to more conversation or openness, only absent nods. Once, after a rambly spiel to a mom and her kid, she blinked and said, “So it’s not a children’s book? Too bad, my son wants to be a writer.” I wanted to sink into the floor! I wish I’d wiggled my fingers at him and said, “It’s a spooky ghost story!”

2. Too Jokey - Less personally embarrassing, and I tend to do it a lot. Which is probably why I occasionally try to course correct and go too serious. Typically I give it a goofy working title or a silly little pitch and move on. 

3. The Undermine - This is what I did the other night, and I honestly regret it. I explained a romp of a work-in-progress that I’m actually excited about… and then ended with my fingers splayed and said, “It might not work! I suppose I haven’t really thought it out!” Ugh. Why?

4. The Springboard - This is where I share a sliver of an aspect of what I’m working on, only to transition to a new topic. Either I can complain about not having the time, now we can talk about time, or I compare it to a book I read recently, now we can talk about that book instead. Or I mention a bit of research, now we can talk about the research.

5. The Query Letter - A lot like the “too serious” category, but instead I do a synopsis of my own query letter so I sound forced and weird. You know, it’s genre-influenced literary fiction. Or it’s This book meets That book. Lordy. This is usually met with a dull, “Ahh, sure.” Ah, sure. Good talk.

When I ask another writer what they’re working on, it’s typically because I actually like to talk about writing. Hearing about other people’s process is interesting and useful. I like it when they tell me about the writing itself– stories about changing POV or tense and what that’s doing to the narrative, anecdotes about deleting a whole character, rewriting a scene ten times only to go back to the first draft, or writing a whole paragraph only to keep a single sentence. Sitting down and writing ten pages in one go, because it just came to you. Receiving feedback only to spend a whole week not being sure what to do with it!

I hope next time I can offer something real. Realistically, I’m sure I’ll continue to flounder for an answer for a long time.

Reading Recommendations:

I’m afraid that today I can only offer this: I loved the audiobook of Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. It’s beautifully read by Meryl Streep, and it speaks to where I am in life in a way. When it was done, I started it over again. I’m now on my third listen. Sometimes it happens to me that I can only do one thing for a long time, and right now? Listening to Tom Lake is it.

But as my husband says, there are so many other good books! I’m sure I’ll move onto another wonderful one soon. In the meantime, enjoy this song about my favorite pastime:

I hope wherever you go this week, you can present an authentic version of yourself without doubt or deflection! And if you can’t, it’s OK. You’ll get ‘em next time.

Next week we’ve got an interview with Nora Decter— plus a giveaway! One lucky reader will win a copy of her forthcoming novel, What’s Not Mine, so be sure to tune in next weekend for details!