Not that long ago, I posted about how my three small children are in school all day for the very first time, and although I do have to work, it frees up a little bit of my time so I can write. So here I am about two months in and I can tell you how it’s going.
I mean, it’s ok so far? I’ve managed to set aside a little bit of time for writing. But I don’t think I’ve hit my stride yet, and I wouldn’t say my writing routine is developed. It turns out that in the last eight years of inconsistent output, I’ve changed a lot in mind and body and heart. And all of that affects the writing, because I have to be myself in both the process and the product.
Back in August, I was very concerned about place– where to write. And I still am. You all gave me fabulous advice, and I set up my home to have a few writing spots (including a standard desk) that I can toggle between. But it turns out I’m really terrible at focusing in an empty house– I kind of need the accountability of other people nearby to stay on task.
I’m also learning that my body really relies on movement, and my imagination runs on novelty. I need to go for walks and train rides and shopping trips! Getting out of the house is central to making my mind work, but it does eat into the time and requires its own little budget, and can frankly become a distraction in itself. My kids and home and job all require attention, even while the kids are at school, and I can’t opt out of those things.
These are all niggling problems that I’m in a trial-and-error process with, and honestly it can be discouraging. For years I’ve thought, If only I had time… and now that I have time it turns out that I also have to troubleshoot everything else that makes me a less than ideal human with top productivity every day. I’m failing about as often as I’m succeeding. And daily I’m making it up– trying a new place or time or gosh, new pen– and honestly I don’t know how it’s going to work when I start.
I’m trying to trust that this is it. This is what a fresh start looks like– lots of ups and downs, and lots of figuring out. I’m trying not to let the discouragement of bad days shake me. I’m reminding myself that rushing has never helped me do anything better. And I’m focusing on gratitude. How lucky am I to have some time to figure out a writing routine? The luckiest duck in Chicago, probably.
Reading Notes
I’m in the middle of two really good books right now, and probably reading too slowly because I can’t seem to put one down long enough to focus on the other and finish it. They are:
Two Step Devil by Jamie Quatro - Aggressively normie in tone but deeply spooky and strange in character and story, I’m about halfway through and can’t wait to see what she does with this.
And
There’s Always This Year by Hanif Abdurraquib - One of my husband’s favorite writers, this is my first book of his. I can’t say I have more than passing knowledge of basketball but the writing keeps me hooked, and I’m absolutely getting why people love his work so much.
And here’s a song from my misspent youth!
I hope bad writing days don’t get you down this week, and if they do, remember it’s just part of the process! At least that’s what I’m hoping! <3
I also found a little 'extra' time and thought I would use it to write. So... I'm committing to 1 hour a day during the week dedicated to writing, for me from 10am - 11am. It take the pressure off of trying to find time throughout the day. I just started this past Thursday so we'll see how it goes...
As an academic, I used to get a year off from teaching and faculty meetings every seven years to focus on writing and research. It usually took me about 3 months to stop just dinking around, going to yarn shops, taking more walks…sound familiar? I think it was because my body/brain needed a break from all the juggling that was my normal existence as a working mom. Then when I’d had my little break, I found I had less trouble finding a rhythm that worked for these new circumstances. The first “productive” thing I did was let myself read way outside my normal lane. I found inspiration there that helped me get back to my own work with fresh ideas. Fret less, recognize the luxury/privilege of time, enjoy your break and give yourself a chance to work into it.