Give (and Take)

It’s been a minute. How are you? That’s a genuine question: How are you holding up?

I’ll go first: I’m tired. I mean that in every possible way, but the physical exhaustion is real. I’ve been taking a lot of naps. But I feel like no matter how much I sleep, I can’t shake this intense drained feeling.  

Yes, I’m largely referring to what’s happening nationally. I can’t stop checking the news (I know, I know) and it continues to break my heart. So much hurt and devastation, it’s overwhelming. So, if I can, I try to take a break and sleep for 10 minutes. A way to center my body’s needs. A quick reset for my nervous system. 

I don’t know if it helps. 

But it’s not all national stuff that’s knocking me out. Some of what’s draining me is more local and personal. I submitted the anthology manuscript to my editor the day of the inauguration (I know, I know) and doing so felt pretty heavy. After the election I had a breakdown realization: this book will be coming out in 2026, the political landscape looking much different than I’d hoped when I started the project. That informed how I approached collecting additional stories. My goal had always been to elevate a diverse range of voices, but doing felt especially important after the election. And I worked really hard to make that happen as much as I could. 

I’m proud of how it turned out. 

this is the darkest I’ve ever seen the sky during a rainbow (with a hint of double rainbow action), and while I took the pic ages ago, it felt right for this post

I’ve long denied my perfectionism, identifying as someone who goes with the flow. I’m physically unable to hold a grudge, and I’m charmed by flaws. But this project made me realize I don’t give myself the grace I extend to others. Someone I recently met stopped me as I was talking: “WHOA. You’re really hard on yourself.” Not only did I think I was being funny, what I said was mild compared to how hard I actually am on myself. It was helpful for this person to call me out on it. It’s true, I am. So hard on myself. 

Now is not the time for that. We’ll never get through the next four years if we’re beating ourselves up for not being perfect. I’ve been signing off emails with “take good care,” because I know everyone is struggling right now. I know most of us are harder on ourselves than we are with anyone else (at least us writers, amiright?). And we need to give ourselves whatever it is we need. A nap. A break from social media. A night of binge-watching a guilty pleasure. Give yourself whatever it is you need right now. Go ahead, take that break. That nap. That extra cookie.

In the spirit of giving ourselves what we need, Amy and I agreed we’re only going to post when we have something genuine and of value to share, so weekly posting is probably a thing of the past. We’re going to lean into what we need and invite you to do the same. That said, it was lovely starting the year with some of you, writing together. Happy to host more of those if there’s interest! Because one thing I definitely need more of is connection. I’ve gone on a ridiculous number of coffee dates lately. And it’s been nice, meeting new people, connecting, even if only briefly. Remembering I’m not alone. None of us are, even if it feels that sometimes. 

I’d love to hear how you’re doing, what you need, and if there’s anything you’d like to see grow from this space! You can reply to this email, DM me, or comment below. Let’s hold space for each other and our needs. <3

Reading recommendations

Despite *waves hands wildly at the world* I have managed to read some great books in the past month. Here are a few:

I love Morgan Parker, but somehow hadn’t realized she published an essay collection last year until about a month ago. It’s unsurprisingly brilliant. Highly recommend checking out You Get What You Pay For if you’re in the mood for razor sharp essays.

Another read I highly recommend is Freda Epum’s The Gloomy Girl Variety Show. It’s been compared to Claudia Rankine’s Citizen, which I understand, because they’re both powerful and masterful, but the comparison isn’t apt in that Freda Epum is a singular voice and in addition to dealing with race, this book also tackles mental health. I can’t hype up this book enough.

I just read Pedro Páramo. Twice because I didn’t understand it the first time. I’m still not sure I do, so if anyone wants to explain it to me, I’m all ears. But even without fully grasping it, I found so much to admire. No wonder it’s a classic. 

Preorder alert: Nicole Graev Lipson’s Mothers and Other Fictional Characters is another stunning memoir in essays. I had the pleasure of interviewing Nicole for CHIRB, which won’t come out until the book does in March, but it was such a great conversation about such a great book!

One of my all-time very favorite people in the entire universe just released his first EP, so obviously, I had to use a song (well, two) for this post’s title. I’m not typically into electronic music, and yes, I’m totally biased, but I love the entire EP so much. These are my two favorites, the ones I’m most obsessed with and play on repeat. Enjoy. :)

Hang in there! <3