i wanna live & i wanna dance awhile

I should be writing a flash story right now. I need to submit one for a workshop I signed up for as a kick in the pants. Generating new work has been a struggle, to say the least. And flash seemed like a fun way to jumpstart my creativity. But I’ve got nothing and the day my submission is due keeps creeping closer. My doc remains completely blank. 

Here’s the thing: my writing brain likes to go on vacation this time of year.

Many smart writers have talked about how we can’t wait for inspiration, that we need to sit our butt in the chair and show up for our work. Sometimes that’s true– I’ve had times when I didn’t think I would get anywhere on the page, and was surprised by the magic that came from just showing up. So while that can indeed be a thing, I’m a big believer in rest. (Or, as Julia Fine put it beautifully last week, fallow time.) And for whatever reason, this time of year my creativity feels tapped out. I find myself needing to stop writing to recharge. It was this time last year I began writing songs. 

Summer makes me want to do something other than write. I want to bike everywhere and take long hikes and hang out with friends and go places. I want to push my body and give my mind a break. 

the view from my cousin’s friend’s apartment = a gorgeous brain break

Unfortunately, I pushed my body a little too far last week. I fell off my bike in a spectacularly terrible fashion, messing up my back, neck, and face.

I’m grateful it wasn’t worse, that it happened outside of my office and that I have the world’s best coworker who jumped into action and took care of me. (Seriously, she’s the greatest— she’s very funny and thoughtful, and pre-bike accident took me tango dancing.) 

I’m currently too sore to dance. And my face injuries take singing off the table for now. I’m thinking about painting since I find dipping into other art forms tends to be a nice reboot. Opening up to other creative possibilities helps me see my work with fresh eyes. 

But that doesn’t really solve my problem with the flash story I should be writing. I admire compression, but don’t understand how to achieve the level needed for flash. I don’t read it enough. It mystifies me. 

I have the afternoon free. The smart thing to do would be to read some flash to get inspired, go for a walk to think up an idea, then sit my (very sore) butt down and write. 

Maybe I’ll do the smart thing. Or maybe I’ll procrastinate some more by experiencing another art form. Maybe I’ll use my bike accident as an excuse to not push myself. Maybe I’ll wait until the last minute and take an old short story and cut it down to a thousand words— that could be a nice exercise in the art of compression. 

Sometimes we need to follow the work where it takes us, but maybe sometimes the work can follow where life takes us. 

Reading Recommendations:

Analía Villagra has a gorgeous story in the latest issue of Ecotone called “In the Pines.” You can read the beginning here, then buy a copy to read the rest!

I loved Ruth Madievsky’s smart, prismatic debut novel, All-Night Pharmacy, which I had the pleasure of interviewing her about for The Rumpus. 

Up next: I’m excited to dig into Aaliyah Bilal’s debut story collection Temple Folk. The collection centers the experience of Black Muslims grappling with faith, family, and freedom, and was blurbed by literary powerhouses like Edward P. Jones, Deesha Philyaw, and Marlon James. (I’m a sucker for debuts blurbed by writers I admire.) 

I’ll leave you with this song, which has the line I used for the title, because while I can’t motivate myself to write right now, much less anyone else, my bike accident feels like I can give the prescription to enjoy life. (And enjoy your wondrous body, especially if it moves without pain! And your beautiful face!) I’m excited for when my body is ready to dance again and my brain wants to write again. Until then, I want to enjoy each day. And I hope you do, too.

Wishing you a fun week!