It's Alright, Baby
I recently completed a draft of a novel. Working on this draft was so much fun. It wasn’t a final draft so the stakes felt low– I could try things, or leave things for later. But of course, I wanted it to be as perfect as possible anyway. I sent it along to some readers. Felt great. It’s a good draft! Couldn’t wait to hear what people think.
The next day came and went. And the next. Then, somewhere in the silence of waiting, no no no no no. Wait. This part. Should I have changed…? Let me read this over again. Shoot, I was wrong. It’s awful, the whole thing is awful. Offensive, actually. There’s a chance my readers are actually angry about it, it’s so bad.
It happens to everyone. Insecurity. Doubt. But it always feels so fresh and specific when it happens to me. Here are some tips and tools I’ve used to get through this time of insecurity:
Lighting candles
Planning to buy more candles
Checking the temperature and exclaiming it’s “cool enough to bake!” and then reading twenty recipes only to bake exactly one thing
Taking manic long walks with my children
Looking at my calendar a lot
Highly recommend all of these, but I’m also clinging to advice from a writing teacher whose name I can’t remember. Many years ago, I took some writing classes at Second City, and although sketch comedy wasn’t something I was ever going to feel comfortable writing, I did learn a lot during that time, and a lot about myself. One of my teachers said something I’ll never forget: “Your writing is like your hair. You have to work with what you have.”
I’ve used these words to comfort me many times. What she was trying to tell us, that day, was that sometimes you have to let it go. The revision process invites my inner critic, and my inner perfectionist. These two folks are useful companions to a point. But there’s a limit.
I hope I get many insightful, helpful notes on my draft. Just like I’m always seeking advice about my hair! In fact, as part of my freaking out process, I have cut my hair. Because with hair and writing, the stakes are actually low. It is a playground for you to try things, to work things out. Present yourself as best as you can, and then have grace for all the ways you fall short, and in fact, will likely always fall short.
I also highly recommend candles.
Reading:
Hello, Beautiful by Ann Napolitano - I loved this book. I picked it up on a whim, because it was getting a lot of buzz and had a pretty cover. But I loved it. I devoured it. Honestly one of my favorite reading experiences in ages.
Jane of Lantern Hill by L.M. Montgomery - I’m preparing for a trip to Prince Edward Island in July (more on that later!) so I’m dipping into old Montgomery books and journals to prepare. And in this one I was struck by how long Montgomery takes to get to the island, and then how mesmerizing the island is when she brings Jane to it.
I also enjoyed this essay in LitHub by Lauren Acampora. Such a good example of someone just writing what they write best, in a way that feels natural to them.
This weekend is Rachel’s birthday! To help her celebrate, if you enjoy Pub Cheerleader, now would be a lovely time to pass it onto a writer friend, or to share on social media. More people should get to experience the gift of her voice, and her dedication to cheering writers on!
Hoping that as you head into another week of writing (or waiting for feedback!), you find yourself able to let it go! 🙂