Making Noise for the Ones You Love

Lately going on social media makes me feel like I need a nap. Not bad, exactly, just really tired. It’s a constant reminder of how little energy I’ve got.

Some cool writerly things happened for me in the past few months (I gave a reading at my local bookstore! I was on a podcast! I published an interview with Margo Steines! and an essay on friendships between writers! and a review of Zachary Pace’s forthcoming essay collection!), but aside from halfhearted retweets, I haven’t posted about any of it. Maybe it sounds silly (like, how taxing is it to post a picture or share a link?), but I don’t have it in me.

Self-promotion feels unnatural and awkward. We write in solitude, crafting something from our imaginations. Many of us tend to be quiet creatures, but then our work hits the world and we’re expected to shout through the rooftops about our accomplishment, even if it feels so weird and counterintuitive it makes us nauseous.

Earlier this year I saw a post by a writer who published a fabulous debut say something like: “Are you sick of me yet? I am.” But I wasn’t. I didn’t think she was promoting her book “too much.” She worked extremely hard and her success was worth celebration. Also, she was posting about other writers and books too, so it wasn’t a nonstop her-her-her parade.

She’s an example of the online presence I want to cultivate. Actually, many writers who read this newsletter tackle social media with grace. (How do you do it? HOW?!?) I see others cultivate an authentic, non-egocentric online presence without spending all day and night on social media. That’s what I want. I want to do that.  

But here’s the wanting a nap part. It seems like it takes so much time and energy to have a genuine presence online— one that celebrates other writers alongside sharing your own accomplishments.

I want to crack the code of how to be online as a writer. I want to figure out how to promote my work without needing a million naps, and how to better elevate other writers. Like that Rebecca Makkai essay about taking the art you love and blasting it from your trumpet. Social media is a way to blast our trumpets. (Also, I suspect it feels less gross to share your own triumphs when you’ve been celebrating other writers along the way.)

It’s much more comfortable to post a photo like this

I don’t think I’ve posted anything for about six months, so breaking my silence to talk about myself feels self-absorbed. I don’t mean posting about yourself on social media is self-absorbed, not at all, but as a writer I think a lot about subtext, context, and what things mean. What does it say about me if I only use social media to talk about myself? I’ve had plenty I could’ve shared about my love for other writers’ work. So jumping on to blast my trumpet about myself when I’m not making noise for other writers feels slimy.  

I want to start making more noise for the ones I love. 

I hope to figure out a comfortable way to celebrate writing on social media— authors I’ve never met, friends I want to support, and my own accomplishments. That last one might never stop being weird, but maybe it will get easier the more mindful I am about being a writer online.

And what better way to kick off the intention than by sharing some things I’ve read and loved lately? 

Reading Recommendations:

Online: 

Kathleen Gibbons published a beautiful short story about love and forgiveness called “I’m on Highway 1” in Cutleaf. If you like quiet, lovely fiction this is one to definitely check out. 

Davon Loeb wrote a deeply felt piece in The Washington Post about worrying about passing on his body image issues to his son. So much is written about girls having body image issues, but Davon shows how boys aren’t exempt from the pressure to look a certain way, too. 

Have I ever watched a single episode of Real Housewives? No. Did that stop me from loving this sharp essay about Anna Sims rewatching all the episodes? Also no. Anna is incredibly smart and in her hands, this essay is about much more than a TV show. As she writes, “There is only one way to make the world better for women: You have to make the world better for everyone.” Amen. 

And Bobby Crace published the most riveting story about bartending I’ve ever read.

Books:

I loved Robert Lopez’s Dispatches From Puerto Nowhere, which came onto my radar thanks to this awesome hybrid review by Sara Lippmann. It explores Lopez’s family history and reclaims his heritage lost to assimilation, and the narrative has this cool exploratory quality that echoes what’s at the core of the book.

If you’re looking for a great literary novel that defies traditional structure, I highly recommend Laura Warrell’s Sweet, Soft, Plenty Rhythm about the women in the life of a jazz player (“player” in both senses of the word). I’m no jazz aficionado, so can’t pinpoint the musical term for how Warrell orchestrates the narrative, but that beat pulses throughout the novel. Wow. 

And blasting the loudest trumpet for this preorder alert: Nora Decter’s What’s Not Mine is now available to preorder! I had the good fortune to get to read this novel so many times I’ve lost count, and I still can’t wait to devour it again. Fair warning: I will be making lots of noise for this book and for Nora.

Wishing you a lovely weekend! And I’d love to hear from you if you’ve got any tips on how to be a writer online— please help me crack this code!