Today is my birthday, and I’m doing that thing of both looking back and also ahead, reflecting on the past year and where I want to go. And I’m using this space to share:
This year was a mixed bag, but I did receive some good news that I can’t share yet.
Writing has been hard and I’ve been asking myself if I should keep doing it. It’s a slog, what I’m writing might be actual garbage…
… And yet. I keep going. I hit 68k words on the new novel this morning. So close to a full draft, the end is in sight!
I credit getting to 68k to finding an anthem for the story. It’s given the novel a heartbeat. I’d tell you what song because I want someone in this world to love it even half as much as I do, but I’m terribly superstitious. So much so I don’t have the file saved with the title but as newNEWnew.
Non-writing highlight of the year: I got to see the band who sings the unmentioned song, which is my very favorite band and I’ve waited years to see.
I collected 53 rejections this year. A lot of discouragement. (Have I mentioned I’ve been contemplating breaking up with writing?) And yet. Somehow I keep going.
I learned how to make yogurt, and it’s becoming a hobby. Might try learning to ferment something new this year.
I began seriously studying astrology and even got paid to put together an astro report. I’m still not great at reading birth charts, but I’ve learned some cool predictive techniques, which is a fun party trick.
I didn’t attend many lit events and hope to go to more next year. One highlight was seeing R.O. Kwon a few weeks ago in Milwaukee. The conversation was fascinating, she was lovely, and after it was over, I ate tacos as the sun set over Lake Michigan:
In many ways, I’m at a crossroads. Maybe my lukewarm feelings about being a writer will pass and I’ll soon be bursting with new creative energy. I’ve dreamt up an astrology-related endeavor and maybe I’ll launch it. I’m not sure what the coming year has in store, but I decided to make another space for sharing what I’m up to, particularly of the non-writing variety, so I’m starting a separate newsletter. (Don’t worry, Pub Cheerleaders isn’t going anywhere.) Life is a wild journey and you can sign up to follow mine here.
Reading Recommendations:
Online: I loved Temim Fruchter’s beautiful, affirmative I’m Here, I’m Queer, I’m 45 and Still Making New Friends in DAME. Needed this one.
A must-read for writers: Sarah Kokernot’s stunning Failure as Liberation in Tricycle. I admire essays that get vulnerable quickly so you trust the author and will follow them anywhere, which is the case here. So relatable, so wise.
I’m a big fan of everything Davon Loeb writes and really appreciated his latest essay, My Experiences as a Black Man Are Integral to My Work as a Teacher in Electric Lit. So thoughtful, so urgent.
Recently read:
My poetry read this past month was the fantastic forthcoming Map of My Want by Faylita Hicks, which drops July 9th. Asking where our desires take us, it’s definitely worth picking up.
Like most people who read and loved Night of the Living Rez, I was eager to check out Morgan Talty’s debut novel, Fire Exit. I love novels that deal with family, legacy, identity, and culture and this one did not disappoint.
I decided to pick up Rita Bullwinkel’s Headshot, after hearing her on a podcast and feeling inspired to sign up for boxing. But the novel about a girls’ boxing tournament convinced me that maybe boxing isn’t something I want to take up in my forties after all. But I enjoyed living out my boxing dreams through those girls.
Currently reading:
I’m rereading Louise Erdrich’s masterful novel, The Round House, to discuss with my friend Star. It’s amazing how much more I get from revisiting a book. Trying to do more of that this coming year.
Up next:
Next week my writing group is discussing Anessa Abbas Higgins’s translation of Elisa Shua Dusapin’s The Pachinko Parlour. It looks good, and I’m excited to finally start pick it up.
Birthdays can get me a little nostalgic, so here’s a throwback from the early aughts. I always loved the line, “If you’re bad with words, we have a space to share.” Really feeling that lately.
Wishing you a beautiful day! <3
Reading this a day late, so Happy Belated Birthday! I know exactly how you feel about writing. And yet. 68K! And an anthem as well. No small feat.
Have a wonderful birthday!
And I hear you on frustration and contemplating looking elsewhere. Finding other outlets has been my saving grace.