tribute: Arika Verma

I created this newsletter as a space to encourage and inspire other writers. But today I’m using it to honor a dear friend who spent her short life encouraging and inspiring everyone she met. To give a tribute to an extraordinary person. To make sense of the gutting loss of Arika Verma. 

I actually drafted a post about her a few months ago. She and I talked about doing a lot together while she was in town, but we only hung out twice, and I wrote about things not happening the way we hoped. And how while Arika and I didn’t go kayaking as we’d planned, I was grateful for the time we spent together. I didn’t end up sharing it because it felt too saccharine. 

That feels different now. I am so grateful for the time I spent with Arika. Our friendship was brief but special. 

I don’t know how she found me. I wish I would’ve asked. She emailed because she was in town for a month and wanted to connect with local Bahá’ís. Before I had a chance to respond, she texted. (How’d she get my number? How awesome that she did.) We met a few days later. Talked and texted for several weeks. One day we walked with her mom near the Kishwaukee River. Arika and I made plans to go kayaking on it someday. We sat in the shade and Arika and her mom shared a list of tenets to live by. Later she sent them in Hindi along with this translation:

1. Know this world (sansaar) is an illusion/ dream (sapna)

2. Keep your faith strong (remain courageous)

3. Keep unbreakable happiness, even in sad times

4. Praise/ worship God as much as you can

5. Don’t give anyone pain, try to give others happiness

6. Love everyone, a lot

7. Keep your nature like a little kid (e.g. forgiving)

8. Walk in accordance to your values

9. Make unbreakable efforts, like the river Ganga always flows, do not become lazy/ idle

10. The things that will make your head bow down in shame, do not do these

Our last text exchange was the day she headed back to San Francisco. We agreed how great it was to meet. I said I hoped our paths would cross again and she “loved” my text. 

Ten weeks later, she lost her battle with depression. A battle I didn’t know she was fighting. There’s so much I didn’t know about her. And yet, I loved her deeply. It was impossible not to. She was incredibly kind, warm, smart, verbose, compassionate, loving, and brilliant. She had a radiant smile and a radiant heart. 

Today I’m going kayaking on the Kishwaukee River in Arika’s honor. The kayak trip we never took together. I’ll drop the rose petal I received at her memorial service into the river and I’ll say a prayer for her. I’ll reread our texts and the tenets about knowing this world is an illusion, keeping our faith strong, and making unbreakable efforts. 

Arika certainly gave others happiness. She loved everyone, a lot. 

I mentioned depression in my last post, and after losing someone to it this past week, I’m going to repeat myself. You’re not alone. It’s okay to not be okay. If there’s anything I can do to support you, whether we know each other or not, please know I’m here. Like Arika I want to love everyone, a lot. 

Much love to the Verma family. 


Contributions to Hope for Depression Research Foundation can be made in honor of Arika Verma.